Last weekend was my daughter’s tenth birthday party. I couldn’t believe how time has flown and that in a matter of a few years she will actually be a teen-ager 😦
I am not ashamed to say though, that I still sometimes treat her as my baby. Because she is.
After my husband and I got married, we decided not to have children until after 2 years. Our reason being so that we could enjoy each other before being parents — we knew parenthood is something that would be demanding of our time and resources and hence maybe we can have some “us” time first? The funny thing was, although that was the plan, we didn’t actually do anything to delay pregnancy and after the second year we were like, hang on, how come we didn’t get pregnant at all? Hmmm…
That was when trips to severals doctors started. I would not go into details except to say that after medical assistance failed, we gave up. And as soon as we let go of our desire to be parents, I got pregnant. Naturally. That was 5 years after our wedding.
Finally, people who keep on asking why we still did not have children stopped asking everytime they see us. FINALLY. Honestly, the questions I have asked by people: When are you having a boyfriend? When i finally had one, when are you getting married? When I finally did, when are you having a baby? And when I finally had one, when will you have the next one? Arrrrrggggghhhhhh.
It was an easy pregnancy. Everything went smoothly. I had morning sickness but only for one day, and that was when the doctor confirmed I was pregnant. I wasn’t supposed to experience it that early so i guess it was just psychological. On my 7th month of pregnancy, we were informed our application to migrate to Australia was approved and we had to leave before the baby was born. Whaaaaaaattt? Then the Australian embassy closed down because of a bombing incident and I couldn’t contact them at all. Wow, it was remarkable the stress during those times didn’t make me give birth prematurely!
I had to contend with the thought that my doctor wouldn’t be there for the birth, that a stranger would be my new doctor; that we are going to start anew in a place where we are yet to find employment; that my parents will not be there when the baby is born; and that I am as scared as, because I have never been hospitalized ever, and do we have enough savings to pay the medical bills?
Thanks to Medicare, everything was taken care of. I had gestational diabetes and pre-eclampsia and during one of the hospital visits for a check up, they told me they had to cut me up that night or I die. Yep, the doctor actually said “or you die”. He did say it in a friendly way though — haha.
And so my now TEN-ager was born. Our one and only. It was worth it and it was worth each sacrifice we had to make to make sure she is well looked after by one of us while the other one is the sole breadwinner. We didn’t (and still don’t) care much for the material things and we were content with what we can afford. No more of those frequent fine dining, branded shopping, and sometimes, even birthday presents to each other. Things we don’t need, we don’t buy. As simple as that.
We lived with my brother’s family for 8 months, rented a house for 6 months, bought a unit and lived there for 4 years, and finally bought our present home. We still only have resources enough for the 3 of us. We live simply and try to save what little we can.
The person I was before I became a mother is very very far from how I am now. My fingernails are now short. I don’t wear heels anymore. I visit the shops to have my hair done only when I really feel I look like I stepped out of the 70s. I snap up clothes that are on bargain. I only put on minimal make-up. My time is mostly spent doing things for my family. I don’t sleep as soundly as I used to — each tiny sound at night wakes me up and I make sure everyone in the house is safe.
But I am happy and I don’t miss the things that used to make me happy. I suppose as your role in life changes, your priority changes with as well. It is great and as I have read before: “where you are is where you are supposed to be”.
My daughter will be taller than me very very soon. But she is still my baby. I sometimes still sleep beside her when she asks me to and I don’t care what people say. We pray together, we read a book, we have scrabble days, and we play wii. We fight and then we make up. When she says I love you and kisses me and hugs me tight, it makes everything worthwhile.
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